Wait a second! I take it all back!

I AM NOT READY FOR SCHOOL! I AM DREADING IT!

Listen to this story:

After my continuing ed class yesterday, I decided to go to school and see what was going on. Although we aren't required to be there until the 13th, I knew there would be some people there since it was the first day our office and school were officially open. When I got there I spotted the cars of my two good friends. There are 3 of us that are pretty good friends, a fifth grade teacher, the art teacher, and myself. We had a fourth but she was FORCED to move to another school this year. Boohoo! So anyway, I walked down to see the fifth grade teacher. She started telling me about all of the drama that is already happening with grade-level/classroom assignments. This is expected this time of the year. We walked to the art room so we could gossip with her too. When we walked in, one of the kindergarten teachers was in there. She said a the expected, "Hi! How was your summer?" We made some small talk for a few minutes. Then said pointed to my belly and the belly of the fifth grade teacher and proceeded to tell us that she was hoping we would come back to school with bellies so the staff would have some babies to look forward too. We were both like, "Oh, no, not yet!" Uhhh, what? I couldn't believe she said that! Ashley, the fifth grade teacher, and I are both 27 and married so I guess we are the logical ones to be pregnant next, and in her defense, she didn't know anything that was going on with me. But still! How am I going to deal with these kinds of comments?

In my mind, I knew that going back to school was going to be a little tough. I was looking forward to telling everyone that I was pregnant and now I can't do that. I was thinking that, "How was your summer?" was going to be a difficult one to answer. I assumed that, "Well, I spent the first half of my summer on cloud nine because I was pregnant and the second half absolutely devastated because I lost the baby. But how was your summer?" was not an appropriate answer. But I knew I could smile through a, "Great! How was your's?" with only a small tug on my heart. But, I didn't expect this!

And maybe I got those comments last year too. I don't remember. If I did, I laughed it off and didn't think twice about it. But things are different now. I want to be pregnant. I was pregnant. I had a miscarriage. Comments like that feel very different.