My Beta HCG level from Thursday, 23 days after I miscarried, was 3. For the good and bad of it all, this means that I am officially UNPREGNANT. It is all over and this chapter in my life is closed. Time to move on...
Too bad there are reminders everywhere. Today was supposed to be my first-trimester screenings. I got home last week to a bill for the ultrasound of my "pregnant uterus." Saturday was supposed to be my 12-week benchmark. Again, it's not that I want everything from my pregnancy/miscarriage to go away. It helps to talk and think about it, but it is still hard. The thought of moving on is also hard, only because I don't want to be moving on. I want to be pregnant.
*****
I got home from Vegas last night at midnight. I had a great time with my parents. We played lots of dominoes, ate great food, drank great wine (including a few bottle from the San Francisco wine tasting that I had to miss out on...and now we know, for nothing!), went on a massive shopping spree, and saw some of my extended family. We always have a wonderful time just "hanging-out" and that is what I needed to end my summer.
Tomorrow is my first day back to school. Today I will be running around like a mad woman so I am ready. I have to finish a few assignments for my online class, get my hair-cut and colored, do laundry and few things around the house, and make a run up to the mall to return a few things. I would love to get up to school for a few hours too. I need to get a head start on some things and check the class assignments for my students. We'll see if it all gets done!
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3 comments:
Good luck with school this year. I hope things are looking up for you and your DH soon. Visiting from Beth's blog, thanks for sharing. BTW, you have a Great smile.
Carrie,
I am glad you had a great time in Vegas; I hope spending time with your parents helped to ease a little of the pain. I wish I could have been there w/ you to play dominos. We are really going to have to get together soon to do that. I am glad to here your beta is almost zero. I am sorry for all the constant reminders of this bump in your road. Love you bunches & good luck on your first day back to school.
BTW are you going out for Tracie's B-day tonight?
Beth
OMG I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to move and and just wanting to be pregnant. I'm so sorry you have to go through this!
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