Changing

It's only been a little over 36 hours since my last post that I talked about having no desire to tell anyone about being pregnant. I'm already changing my mind some.

On Saturday night, we went to Beth's house (Yep, the same Beth from the last post!) to watch the Mizzou homecoming game. All of our friends that didn't go back to Columbia for Homecoming were there. And we seem to be having a little baby-boom among these friends. Beth is due and December and there are two girls that are due in April. Pregnancy, babies, breastfeeding, showers, names, etc. dominated the girls' conversation all night. It was so hard not to share my story and experiences right along with them. I just wanted to blurt out, "I've been sick, and I'm craving cheese, apples, and tacos, and that name is our list too, and yes, we are going to find out the gender!" It didn't matter that some of these girls didn't know about my miscarriage. I was able to share something else with them, the excitement and unknown of pregnancy.

After everyone else had left, Beth let us try her fetal doppler. I was just 10 weeks and a few days so I knew we were on the line of not being able to hear the heartbeat just yet. We weren't able to find the heartbeat at her house, but she let us take it home (See, I told you she was awesome!), and we found it right away! We've used to twice since then and have been able to hear it both times. I can't tell you how much better you feel after hearing the heartbeat! It's such a beautiful sound and such a relief to know that everything is okay! A few days of concrete evidence that everything is still okay is also helping to change my mind. (And we've already purchased our own doppler. I'm sure it will get a ton of use over the next few months.)

I feel like I am turning a corner. I hope it's not too early since I am not at that magical 12-week milestone yet, but I am feeling more confident and more excited that I will have a baby to hold in May.