My Grandma

My grandma passed away on Saturday. She had been sick for the last few years, but the last few months have been hell on earth for her. She had Leukemia, along with bouts of infections in her intestines and pneumonia. The Leukemia had caused her spleen to get so big that she was in constant pain and nearly immobile. She told me when I saw her in August that she prayed every time she went to sleep, that she wouldn't wake up and that she just wanted God to take her home so she could be with my grandpa and her mother. She didn't understand why dying had to be so hard when that is what she wanted more than anything. It was so depressing to talk to her because she was so miserable. Needless to say, her death was not a shock, it was more of a relief. I love my grandma so much and I can't imagine making trips to Vegas and not seeing her, but I have to remember that this what she has wanted. She is no longer in pain and she is with her mom and husband again.

One of the hardest things about my grandma's death is the thought that my mom no longer has her mom. I am so sad for her. I can't imagine what she is feeling and I cry just thinking about not having my mom anymore.

The last conversation I had with my grandma was when I found out I was pregnant again. She was so happy for us and I am so glad I was able to share the happy news with her before she passed. I know she is watching down on us and helping us to protect this pregnancy.

Dom and I are going to Vegas tomorrow morning and will be there until Sunday. My grandma's viewing/visitation is tomorrow afternoon and her funeral will be Thursday morning. We are going to spend a few extra days in Vegas so we can catch up with some of my other family members. My sister and her boyfriend will be there too.