Viva Las Vegas!

I am on Spring Break right now. I spent my first 5 days for my break in Las Vegas, where my parents live. My mom recently had foot surgery and has to be off work for 4 weeks. I was there during her last week off. Her foot is in a cast and she has to keep it up but she isn't it too much pain and she is in good spirits. I would be in a permanent bad-mood and be ready to rip that cast off so I could walk/sit/bathe normally. But of course when I told her that, she said, "What is complaining going to do for me?" What a great attitude?!

We had 5 days of watching TV and movies, playing marbles and dominoes, napping, chatting, and eating. It was great! Mom and I usually go for a marathon shopping trip while I am there, but we had to skip on that tradition this time.

I got back to KC on Wednesday. I always miss Dom so much when I am gone and I was so excited to see him! But, I was in a funk that I couldn't shake. I nagging and picking at him on Wednesday and Thursday nights. On Friday morning, he finally asked what was going on and why I was in such a bad mood and being so mean to him. Of course, this just made me feel so bad! How could I be mean to him? He doesn't deserve that!

I just had a hard time leaving Las Vegas this time. Part of it is that my mom is at home by herself right now. I don't want her to be lonely! I should be there to keep her company and help her with things around the house.

But the other part, and the biggest part, of this issue is that I want my parents to be closer to me. It has been nearly 10 years since I have lived in the same city as them. This comes with a little bit of guilt. It was my begging and pleading that persuaded them to leave me in KC when they moved to LV the summer before my senior year of high school. I don't regret that decision, as I am glad I was able to stay in Missouri (and attend the colleges I wanted and meet Dom), but it is what has lead to our continued separation. As I get older (and closer to having kids of my own), I am learning that I want them to be near me.

My parents have always had plans to move to KC after they retire. The timeline for their retirement changes all of the time. What also changes is the plan to wait until retirement. My mom has made "why wait" comments but I'm not sure where the discussion stands now.

Another snag in the discussion is Dom's fellowship. Cardiology fellowships are very competitive (2000 applicants for every 1 position). There are 5 positions here in KC, 3 of which are at KU Med. Obviously, you can't be too picky about the location of the fellowship. You go where you get in. Moving from KC would delay my parent's plans for another 3 or 4 years, assuming we would move back to KC after his fellowship. Recently, Dom has been saying that if he doesn't get a cardio fellowship in KC, he won't do cardio. He would just be a Hospitalist so that we could stay here. I don't know if there is a good decision, as I don't think he would be as happy with that career choice.

Clearly, there isn't a fast solution for my problem. It is just something that I have been thinking about a lot the last few days.

Fortunately, I was able to shake my funk and Dom and I had a great Friday! I'm glad he was able to get a day off while I was home for spring break.