One year ago today, Dom and I had an ultrasound that reveled that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. And one year from tomorrow, I miscarried our first baby.
I will never forget the feeling I had when I looked at the ultrasound monitor and couldn't see the flicker of his heart that I was so desperate to see. Or the look on Dom's face that confirmed to me that he didn't see it either. I still cannot put those feelings into words to accurately describe the sadness, helplessness, confusion, and anger. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about it. It still hurts.
Obviously, we have come a long way in the last year. Dom reminded me last night that without the loss of our first baby, we would not have Ethan. And we know how lucky we are to have a happy and healthy son.
For the next two days, our first baby will be in my thoughts, along with my overwhelming love for Ethan.
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2 comments:
My thoughts are with you. No matter what blessing you have received since it does not take away from the loss. ((HUGS))
I am sorry you had to go through this. And I will be thinking of you this week (and always).
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